Motherhood is the most wonderful journey in a woman’s life. It is filled with love, joy and pride. However, it is also burdened with various responsibilities and sacrifices. Most mothers experience mom guilt, a feeling that can make them upset and sad even if they are doing their best for their kids and family.
The unrealistic expectations made by society, family members and even by themselves can create self-doubt and frustration. It can lead to anger and physical exhaustion and can sometimes cause insomnia.
Emotional Challenges Of Motherhood
Mom guilt means many mothers think that they are not doing enough for their kids. When a mother feels such things, then they will try to do more for their kids, which can lead to physical exhaustion. They will struggle to maintain their daily tasks and can develop health issues like insomnia or headaches.
Below, we list some common reasons for feeling mom guilt.
1. Not Spending Enough Time With Kids
Today, we live in a fast-paced world. Most women today go outside to work. But when they work for longer hours in the office, they don’t have enough time to spend with their kids. So they feel guilty for not being there every time with their kids. Most mothers think that their absence can adversely affect the emotional and mental well-being of their child.
Simultaneously, mothers who are too busy with household chores feel guilty that they cannot give full attention to their children.
2. Comparing With Other Moms
Comparing with other mothers is the most important reason for feeling guilty for not being a good mother. Mothers usually see other moms posting pictures of a beautiful, organized home or having fun time spent with their kids and families on Social media platforms.
These images can make other mothers feel that they are not doing enough for their kids. This can happen in real life, too. A mother may see another mother who is more involved in a child’s life and begin to feel guilt. This consistent comparison can make her upset and frustrated and can badly impact her emotional well-being.
3. Missing Milestones
Missing a child’s milestone is the next factor of mom’s guilt. Mothers can have important meetings in the office or some other important responsibilities for which they cannot attend their kid’s parent’s meetings or any important school event. Hence, they try to blame themselves that they are not doing much for their kids.
This guilt is quite common in working mothers. They feel guilty about choosing their work over their children. Missing special days of the child badly affects the emotional well-being of the mother.
4. Self Care
Many mothers feel guilt for finding time for themselves. It can be simply going for a walk, pursuing a hobby, or spending time with friends. This guilt prevents mothers from meeting their own needs. They stop talking much with their friends, don’t attend social gatherings, and try to focus full time on their kids. It can soon make them emotionally and physically drained.
5. Trying To Be Perfect
The desire to become a perfect mother can be an emotional challenge. Most mothers pressure themselves to become perfect mothers. But when they cannot meet such unrealistic expectations, they feel guilty and blame themselves.
For example, when a mother cannot play with her kid after a long, tiring day or forgets some important events, she starts to blame herself for not being a perfect or good mother.
Remember, no mother can be perfect. Everyone makes mistakes, and you need to accept it.
6. Pressure From Society And Family
Our society expects unrealistic expectations from mothers. Society expects mothers to be patient, keep the home spotless and well organized and devote 24 hours to their children.
Various TV shows, movies and social media platforms always show that a mother should be patient every time. These things can make a mother feel guilty when reality does not match society’s expectations. It’s obvious that when a mother works all day, she feels tired and may lose her patience and temper.
Tips For Managing Mom’s Guilt
Managing mom’s guilt can be emotionally and mentally challenging. But with the right strategies, you can reduce these feelings.
Below, we are discussing a few tips for managing mom’s guilt.
1. Don’t Try To Become Perfect
Perfectionism is the major factor in Mom’s guilt. Most mothers wish to become flawless in different aspects of their lives, such as work, parenting and household management. But in reality, this is not possible.
No human being can become 100 percent perfect. Everyone makes mistakes in life. Running after perfection makes you feel guilty and creates unnecessary stress. You may even fall ill and have migraines or sleeping problems.
So don’t try to become perfect. Set realistic goals for yourself. Sometimes, the day will not go as planned. Accept it with a smile.
2. Give Importance To Self Care
Most mothers feel guilty for prioritizing self-care. However, self-care is quite important for physical and mental health. When you take care of yourself, you will have more energy and patience to take care of your children. You can spend some time reading books, going for a walk, or spending time with your friends. Spending some time for yourself will reduce the feeling of guilt in the mom. You will relieve stress and feel mentally good.
3. Concentrate On Quality
Working mothers usually feel guilty about not spending much time with their kids. Try to focus on the quality of time you spend with your children. Keep away all the distractions like your mobile phone and create special moments like playing a game, telling a story or having a chat while giving breakfast to your children. These small moments will have a lasting impression on your kids.
4. Set Boundaries
Are you a working mother? If yes, then avoid bringing work to your home unless it is highly necessary. Talk to your employer about the need for your flexibility.
5. Try To Seek Help From Mothers
If you feel overburdened, then seek help from your partner or family members or hire a babysitter. Taking help from others helps manage mom’s guilt and balance your responsibilities.
6. Don’t Compare Yourself With Others
Comparing yourself with another mother is the biggest cause of mom’s guilt. Every mother’s situation is different. A technique may work for one mother but may not work for another mother. Strictly avoid comparing your parenting style with the mothers you see nearby or on social media. Always focus on things that work best for you and your children.
7. Remind yourself That You are Doing Your Best
One of the simplest and most effective ways is to remind yourself that you are doing your best to raise your child. Always feel proud of the efforts you put in for the upbringing of your child, even if things don’t go as per your plans.
8. Create A Routine
Create a routine that allocates time both for your family and work. The schedule should clearly outline your work hours, family time and personal time. It will help you to stay organized all day. Try to be consistent while establishing your daily routine. In such a way, you can create a balance between your work and family responsibilities.
9. Learn To Say No
Mothers usually feel pressured when they are burdened with so many responsibilities in the workplace or at home. Always be clear about your limits and say no to tasks that are not your priorities.
You don’t have to do everything on your own. You can get help from others or seek professional help to share your responsibilities
10. Join Mom’s Community
You can join a local mom’s group or an online community to connect with mothers who are going through similar phases like you. You can share your challenges or triumphs with them, or even they will share with you. Such communication can greatly help in managing stress due to mom’s guilt.
Conclusion
Mom’s guilt is a real and common experience faced by most mothers. The pressure from society, family members and themselves weighs heavily on the mothers and ultimately leads to the feeling of self-doubt of being a good mother. But remember, guilt will never define the abilities of a good mother. You should not try to be perfect at work, household management, and kids’ care. Find time for yourself by doing yoga or engaging in a hobby. Join an online community to communicate with moms going through a similar phase. These things will greatly help reduce feelings of Mom’s guilt.
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