When Parents Say Hurtful Things: How to deal with

No one expects any hurtful sayings from anyone. When someone uses abusive words, the listener immediately reacts or goes into depression.

Hurtful things should not be said to anyone. Let it be to a kid or to an adult. But the impact may differ for both. An adult has more understanding than a kid so he/she will be less affected.

When we talk about hurtful things, we generally mean verbally abusive words. The way of hurting can be varied. Sometimes by making the opponent inferior or making the opponent weak.

I have seen so many such cases where parents make fun of saying hurtful things to their kids. In one case the kid is restricted from the school bus because of bullying another kid who also goes to school on the same bus.

The Dad got hyper and starts saying hurtful things to his kid. Is it acceptable?

No doubt, It is clear that no one should bully anyone. The kid did a mistake. He should learn a lesson but not in that way.

By saying hurtful things Dad is again bullying his own kid.

In another story, a mom starts saying hurtful things to her daughter as the daughter refuges to move out of her parent’s house at 26. At 26, actually our brain is fully grown and we can understand what is good or bad.

The mom had tried every possible way to make her daughter move out of the house, she first informed her and discussed it with her. The mom actually loves her daughter and doesn’t want her daughter’s life to become worse after her death.

The mom tries every possible way so that her daughter becomes independent for life.

At last, when every plan seemed to fail, she started saying hurtful things to her daughter.

I don’t know whether it is acceptable or not but the mom seems to be desperate. She had to use her last weapon of hope.

In her context, it is acceptable to some extent. If the mom doesn’t try her last hope, her daughter’s life may be worse after the mom leaves.

In our lifetime, at some point, most of us say hurtful things to someone. Sometime this may happen unknowingly. A small thing may trigger someone.

Being a Parent of a five-year-old kid, what I want to say is that you should not say Hurtful Things to your kid when they are growing and their understandings have not matured yet.

Why do parents sometimes say hurtful things?

Sometimes parents say hurtful things to their children which is not good at all. We have to understand that parents are also human and they sometimes couldn’t control their temper. Children are also seen saying hurtful things to their parents. 

This is part of human nature. But, being adult we need to control our tempers in front of small children who doesn’t understand how human behaves. 

Why you should not say hurtful things to your child.

As I already mentioned earlier, hurtful things can make you depressed or sometimes angry.

The phase, when a child is growing is very important for the future life of the child. Whatever happens at this time may be reflected in later life.

Young minds are like play-doh. They can easily break and join.

How do you deal with hurtful parents?

Dealing with hurtful parents is not easy. Abusive words from parents can make you depressed or enraged.

Retaliation is not the answer. Dealing with a cool mind can solve the problem.

Talking to your parents about how their abusive words can make someone depressed may work.

You need to make them feel that you are financially independent and you can lead a happy life.

I am not saying to completely cut contact with your old parent. Still, love and care for them.

And, at first, look after yourself. Eat healthy foods, sleep well, exercise, and meditate daily. This will make you strong to deal with any situation.

Bottom Line

I as a parent never said any hurtful things to my kids. There are a thousand other ways to teach your kids. A hurtful sentence will only break things nothing else.

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2 thoughts on “When Parents Say Hurtful Things: How to deal with”

  1. I have a hurtful parent, most of my life I have been told how ugly and stupid I am but yet out of three children I am the only one that keeps trying to please her(my mother) now that she is 88 years old I knew she needed someone to help and take care of her, so moved in with her and to this day she is more mean than ever. She will even sabatouge my food. I am tired at 60 years old of being told I’m worthless. What can I do??


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